FIVE STEPS TO FREEDOM 

When I was a little girl, my mother wrote this is my autograph book: 

“Whatever people may say, whatever people may do

If you want to be happy the rest of your life

Always paddle your own canoe”

 

That was damn good advice, but easier to read than live up to in a culture which seeks to tame and herd.  She said her mother taught her that, they both grew up in a society which was very tough on women.  I believe societies in general make it difficult for all of us (male and female) to find and express the exquisite essence of our Self.  Also,  we seem to be wired to somehow diss ourselves, to believe we are less than the reality of our true Self.  We can look at this as an inbuilt ‘device’ designed,  at some level with our agreement, to lead us, lesson by lesson, to truly recognise ourselves as equal expressions of Life.

 

STEP 1 STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS

     By the time we reach adulthood, we have been criticized far more

     than we have been praised.  This gives us the false notion that

     we are not good enough, or inept.  This is simply not true.  We

     are all interconnected and have unique gifts.

 

STEP 2  BECOME AWARE OF YOUR THOUGHTS

 

    Our false beliefs about ourselves are constructed when we are too

    young to realise they are untrue.  When we heard things like “Why

    can’t you be more like….” as children we didn’t know to question

    the assumption and make the decision that it would not be the right

    thing for us to be like the so called paragon held up as an example

     of perfection.  As adults, by tuning in to our in-built critic, we can

     now reason and decide that no, we have a different way of being 

     which suits us.  This will take time, but will help you get to know

     the real you which you unconsciously repress.

 

STEP 3  STOP BLAMING

 

    Yeah, I know this is a tough one,  blaming others is something we 

    all do.  Undoing this way of thinking is absolutely necessary 

    though if we are to i) KNOW and ii) BE our true selves.  Blaming

     keeps us focused on those who ‘done us wrong’, this keeps us

     focused on them, rather than ourselves and wastes a lot of time

     and energy. 

     It assigns them power than over us;

     stops us from perceiving them as equals who also bought into

     false ideas about themselves received from the authority figures

     in their lives and keeps us reacting from the past rather than

     spontaneously responding in the present.   If we keep

      blaming, we’ll keep missing opportunities to live a life we love.

 

STEP 4  LET GO OF JEALOUSY AND RESENTMENT

 

    Again, something we all do, and like blaming, difficult to release.

    However, jealousy doesn’t serve us, it makes us feel less than.  If

    we had a difficult child/adulthood we may feel others have had all

    the breaks.  By re-viewing our difficulties from the perspective of

    what we learned from our traumas, we can begin to identify our

    specific skills and how we can use them to serve us.  By realising

    that we inter-are* we can see the gifts of others as gifts to ourselves

    this will help us to appreciate the talents of others and support us to

    realise and manifest our own unique contributions to the world. 

    When someone is successful, it helps us to study how they do it

    then modify their methods to suit our endeavours.  Simple, but

    effective.

 

STEP 5  ESTABLISH YOU OWN VALUES

 

    This comes back to ‘watching’ your thoughts and questioning

     the assumptions you have about yourself and others.  Where

     did that thought originate?  Where did you first hear it?  From

     whom?  In what context?  Does it enrich you or deny you?  Does

     it deserve your respect?  People have different values, think about

     people you know at home and at work, what does their behaviour

     tell you about their values?  Are they in accordance with yours or

     are they different?  What is important to you?

 

Taking the time to observe and get to know yourself can lead to remarkable transformation.  It takes getting used to, it takes focus, it won’t change you overnight but it will begin the process of change immediately.  You’re going to be around anyway, so you may as well begin now and observe the benefits of your new practice of self awareness reward you over time…..

* Inter-being is a term coined by well known peace activist, Buddhist leader and spiritual teacher Thich Nhat Hanh.  Thay (his nickname) teaches that if we take anything and trace it we will see that it is a continuation of everything else.  A famous example he gives is that of seeing the cloud in the blank sheet of paper.  By realizing that the rain had to moisten the seed for the tree to grow, that the earth had to provide it with nutrients, that the sun had to shine on it, that the logger had to cut it, the loggers husband/wife provide him/her with food, the logging company pay his wages, the paper firm make the paper – you see where this is going – nothing can exist without everything else.  We are One.

May as well feel jealous, resentful, less than or blameful of your own knee as of someone else.

 

   

                

 

 

 

 

 

 

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* Inter-being is a term coined by well known peace activist, Buddhist leader and spiritual teacher Thich Nhat Hanh.  Thay (his nickname) teaches that if we take anything and trace it we will see that it is a continuation of everything else.  A famous example he gives is that of seeing the cloud in the blank sheet of paper.  By realizing that the rain had to moisten the seed for the tree to grow, that the earth had to provide it with nutrients, that the sun had to shine on it, that the logger had to cut it, the loggers husband/wife provide him/her with food, the logging company pay his wages, the paper firm make the paper – you see where this is going – nothing can exist without everything else.  We are One.

May as well feel jealous, resentful, less than or blameful of your own knee as of someone else.