Thursday, December 31, 2009


CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR HIBERNATION AND CELEBRATION - Providing light and cheer in the darkness of mid-winter.


Thursday, November 26, 2009

STEVEN PRESSFIELD ANSWERS MY QUESTIONS ON RESISTANCE








Image by Josef Sudek


Ten years ago, as I sat talking with my then energy healer before a session, I told her I felt I had a resistance to Life. I knew I had, could feel it like an enormous anchor I was dragging around with me; like an invisible membrane I had to push through to do anything at all. She said something very important, reminding me that I was there, sitting with her; reminding me too of all the other actions I was taking which demonstrated my considerable coping skills. I hadn’t thought of that as I dragged myself around, trying to survive the death of my best friend Dolores, which had been followed on six months later by the death of my husband. I was devastated, not only by the loss of two such great friends and soulmates, but also by the suffering I had witnessed, in particular that of my beautiful Kieran, who endured extreme pain for two and a half years before moving on, as I helped as best I could, while feeling helpless.

Throughout that time of relentless suffering, other things were happening, which I can only describe as Divine Intervention, through which we both received enormous strength; strength I also witnessed in Dolores who proved to be a great spiritual teacher to me. I was in awe of both of them, people I simply loved, hung out with, who, when faced with circumstances which caused them unbearable suffering exhibited such immense tolerance and consideration, such grace.

After they transformed, (death is the usual term we employ, but I now know for sure that death, as we understand it, is impossible) one of the gifts of grace I received from the adventure and trial we shared was to experience God, firsthand. Even now I don’t actually like to use the term God to name my experience. God, as a concept has become so distorted and misused, so misrepresented. What I experienced was pure, unconditional Love, whole and vast beyond measure. I cried with gratitude and bliss at a time I expected to cry in agony; was held in light as every cell of my body vibrated and I understood that this state of Total Love is my home, and each of our birthright; that all of us are returning to this state of complete wholeness and no one can miss that path – all roads lead home and there is no if, however, it is up to each of us to determine when. We are all called, we are all sustained.

I felt immensely privileged and immensely humbled.

Since that experience, I have become more and more aware of the help available to every one of us and have also become aware of the struggle at hand. Following on from such bliss, I entered the Dark Night* of The Soul, where, having been brought to the top of the mountain and presented with the view, I now had to enter the abyss and make my own way back up. (*For Night, Read Dark Decade of the Soul! Don’t let that put you off though – the journey is worth it, and, you know what they say, “If you’re going through Hell - keep going!!!”)

What I have had to struggle with is my own distorted beliefs and deceptive thinking. I wrote elsewhere on this blog recently, that I’ve realized, as Spirits undertaking a human experience (which lasts lifetimes) we undertake to experience the entire spectrum of human emotions. These emotions are not ours and can be let go of, once we realize we are misidentifying with them. What I experience is not me, it’s simply something I’m experiencing which is part of this planet, this dimension, and Humanity. The feelings we undergo appear very real, feel very real, however, there is a Reality which outshines any fleeting emotion we experience, instantly and gratefully recognized as true Reality when we are privileged to merge with it, that which is our One Self.

(Even great writers fail to express the profound elegance of the ineffable Being and I’m certainly not managing here!)

Externally, my life appears relatively unchanged. Some would say they notice I’m now laughing more. Internally, I have altered immeasurably and am still transforming, beautifully. Along with the rest of humanity, I still dialogue with myself and have to negotiate my self-imposed fears, or rather, the fears which are part and parcel of this dimension. Throughout, I have been aided by both ‘invisible’ and visible helpers, by friends and teachers, disincarnate and incarnate.

As an avid reader, (and now writer(-ish!)), as a person seeking to evolve, I love books in which others share their authentic experiences of being human in order to add their support to the well of voices which speak for the Light. I love when people open their hearts to connect directly with the hearts of others, as this inspires all of us to trust ourselves and our own process. To know that it is a noble and shared endeavour we undertake which bestows real rewards.

One of the books which provides savvy insight into Resistance, and eloquent support to the rest of us in our daily struggle is The War of Art by Steven Pressfield:

“Resistance has no strength of its own. Every ounce of juice it possesses comes from us. We feed it with power by our fear of it.

Master that fear and we conquer Resistance.

Resistance obstructs movement only from a lower sphere to a higher. It kicks in when we seek to pursue a calling in the arts, launch an innovative enterprise, or evolve to a higher station morally, ethically, or spiritually.

So if you’re in Calcutta working with the Mother Theresa Foundation and you’re thinking of bolting to launch a career in telemarketing…relax. Resistance will give you a free pass.”[i]

Having commented on Steven’s blog, his assistant Callie emailed to say that Steven is reaching out to other bloggers and invited me to engage in a Q&A session with him. Steven kindly provided honest and heartfelt answers to the following three questions I posed to him:

1. What do you think is occurring when one is trying to move to a higher sphere - who or what is resisting and what is being resisted?

I'm only speculating, Gillian, but just as we can feel a force in nature that calls us to evolve to a higher level (otherwise why are we so uplifted, to the point of tears and beyond, by "inspiring" stories), so also do we feel a negative force that's trying to hold us earthbound. I wish I had some great wisdom here, to identify what these forces are. Good and evil? In The War of Art, I suggest that what's holding us back is the Little Self, the Ego, whose existence and usefulness is limited to this material dimension, the dimension that knows death and suffering, in which each individual is seen as apart from every other, and in which fear is the predominant emotion. What is calling us to evolve is our Higher Self, our Big Self, what Jung called simply the Self and what others have called Cosmic Consciousness, the All, or God. That Greater Self has its primary being, I'm speculating, on planes higher than this one--where death is not real, where each individual is united to every other, and where love and not fear is the predominant emotion.

Our Higher Self is calling us to evolve to a loftier level. It is being resisted by our Earthbound Self that wants us to stay here on lower planes.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

2. What benefits have you received/shared when overcoming resistance?

If I hadn't learned how to overcome Resistance, I would never have been able to write any of the stuff I've written. I wouldn't have met the great people I've met, felt my own soul evolve beyond prior limited self-conceptions, I wouldn't be who am I today but would instead be stuck in some lower, self-limiting incarnation. I wouldn't have been able to help the people I've helped or contributed whatever I've been able to contribute. I'd be a mess!

3. Have you had to be incredibly selfish/made sacrifices to progress your aims?

Yes. But I think that is in the nature of the game. When we as artists or entrepreneurs make the decision that we are going to pursue a calling rather than just sell out our time in exchange for money, we also accept the consequences. We have to give up a lot. We decide that it's worth it. We decide that we want to do work we love and not work that somebody else tells us we have to do; we decide that it's more important to do work that fulfills our soul's calling--and we're willing to pay the price.

In my case, one price is that I haven't had kids. I could have, many times along the way, but I knew it wouldn't be right for me--or for the kids. That's not nothing. I could have had more money, more material gain, I could've married certain women, enjoyed certain perks, I could've saved myself a lot of heartache and loneliness if I'd stayed at certain jobs, you know the tune. But I made the decision that it was more important to me to follow what gave me joy and made me feel like me. I don't regret it. The things that one might say I have "given up" are not real things for me and for my particular calling. Some sacrifices simply must be made. To believe that you can live your own authentic life and not make those sacrifices is a delusion.

As Telamon of Arcadia once said, "It is one thing to study war, and another to live the warrior's life."

That's it, Gillian. Hope that helps!



[i] The War of Art. Steven Pressfield. Grand Central Publishing. 2003.


Steven Pressfield is the author of the following books together with numerous film scripts and various other projects.


Steven also posts on his blog. Check out: blog.stevenpressfield.com

Sunday, November 15, 2009

OVERCOMING RESISTANCE TO LIFE


image courtesy of asmundur from flickr

OVERCOMING RESISTANCE TO LIFE

Always be kind, as everyone you meet is involved in a great struggle”

Words to that effect have been attributed to people as varied as Plato, the Dalai Lama and Jack Kerouac – the point being, that there is a longstanding recognition that we are all struggling to ‘better’ ourselves in one way or another and, whether we are aware of it or not, the ultimate goal of all struggle is, like that of a salmon struggling upstream, to return home, to become Love.

Bringing in the light occasions challenges on multiple levels, physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual as the ‘Ego’ fights to maintain dominance over our lives. Resistance and self sabotage are well recognised; a multitude of tomes have been written and read on the subject, and workshops are ongoing on a daily basis in an effort to help people to rise above the dragging effects of negative consciousness.

Engaging in Positive Thinking is the new ‘tablet’ with which we are to dose ourselves in order to overcome low self esteem and inertia. Turn that frown upside down, change negative thoughts to positive. If thinking were all that were necessary to effect such change, we could simply ‘talk ourselves ‘round’ to anything we want to accomplish, and with the good of humanity in mind – there would be no more atrocities committed and we would all live happily ever after. Unfortunately, things are a bit more complicated than that. When as children, we learned to inculcate damaging perceptions into our subsconscious minds, merely changing our thinking on the surface level won’t suffice to transform those powerful subconscious perceptions.

The low vibrational energies we inherit as humans are a legacy of aeons of human evolution, which are self perpetuating. As evolving spiritual beings having a human experience, it is inevitable that we share in experiencing the entire spectrum of emotions, from states of joy through to deep self hatred. Over millennia, we have experienced them all; through lifetimes, we work to climb out of the abyss to higher states of being. Why we chose the experience in the first place, I do not know, but this appears to me, to be what we have chosen and the epic struggle with which we are engaged.

I’ve noticed as my insights become deeper and my consciousness more ‘elevated’, as the light comes in, and my body adjusts to a higher calibration, I have had to face physical challenges in the form of recurring illness. The illness is accompanied by depression and ‘attack thoughts’ which I have to negotiate. Recently, during such an episode, I mulled over the whole endeavour of attempting to ascend spiritually, to raise ones vibrations and effect some good in the world and the forces of resistance which kick in in order to hamper such progress. The vision which came to mind describing the process of counteracting Resistance with Will Power is that of the Roman bridge or arch, in which resistance of opposing forces is used to keep the structure in place. The effect of two opposing forces resisting each other has the effect of creating an impasse, or state of stuckness as energy thus engaged becomes frozen in place thereby preventing the necessary movement for consciousness to evolve to a higher sphere.


In order for real transformation and insight to occur a third element has to enter the equasion; that of divine light, (which is above either conscious or subconscious thought) and the self compassion the invocation of the light endows. As Elizabeth Gilbert realized when she sat on the beach all night, inviting the rejected parts of herself to come to receive her love, greeting the abandoned aspects of our psyche with compassion means gently assuring the fearful, isolated frightened child aspects of ourselves that they are part of the whole, this allows our adult selves to recognise our wholeness and power. The activation of divine love aligns us with the light which is higher consciousness, and elevates our conscious awareness to embrace the entirety of existence. We can now hold more and more light thereby becoming more effective lightworkers and happier, more joyous individuals.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Life Rewards Love

I'm a fan of Billy Collins since I happened upon Nine Horses in a bookshop one afternoon. This is one of the poems from that book.

Aimless Love

This morning as I walked along the lakeshore,
I fell in love with a wren
and later in the day with a mouse
the cat had dropped under the dining room table.

In the shadows of an autumn evening,
I fell for a seamstress
still at her machine in the tailor's window,
and later for a bowl of broth,
steam rising like smoke from a naval battle.

This is the best kind of love, I thought,
without recompense, without gifts,
or unkind words, without suspicion,
or silence on the telephone.

The love of the chestnut,
the jazz cap and one hand on the wheel.

No lust, no slam of the door -
the love of the miniature orange tree,
the clean white shirt, the hot evening shower,
the highway that cuts across Florida.

No waiting, no huffiness, or rancor-
just a twinge every now and then

for the wren who had built her nest
on a low branch overhanging the water
and for the dead mouse,
still dressed in its light brown suit.

But my heart is always propped up
in a field on a tripod,
waiting for the next arrow.

After I carried the mouse by the tail
to a pile of leaves in the wood,
I found myself standing at the bathroom sink
gazing down affectionately at the soap,

so patient and soluble,
so at home in its pale green soap dish.
I could feel myself falling again
as I felt its turning in my wet hands
and caught the scent of lavender and stone.






Friday, October 9, 2009

TO BE AND SIMPLY ALLOW

This post, first published in October somehow disappeared from my site so I am republishing it today, as I feel the insights experienced are valid and useful reading. If it's your first time reading this particular post it may be worth your while reading the posts preceding and following on from it, as I am writing and posting sequentially according to the evolution of my spiritual development.



TO BE AND SIMPLY ALLOW

When I wrote my last blog post, I had been through a disconcerting week of feeling stressed and angry to an extent which was quite out of character, and couldn’t really pinpoint the source of either condition. This state dissipated literally overnight – or, almost as soon as I’d finished writing the blog. As there really were no external factors warranting such anger and discomfort I realised I was in a state of ‘anger arising’, and experience has taught me that, at such times, I am to pay attention, as I am to receive a teaching. Pay attention I did, the result of this has been a deepened understanding of spiritual teaching and the integration into my daily life, of the guidance I have been receiving and which I hitherto hadn’t understood.

When it was communicated to me, that I am to be and not to do, to allow rather than achieve, and that I am here (in body, on Earth) to experience and enjoy rather than struggle and attempt, it didn’t really click deeply with me, until now. Since last weekend, I’ve made a shift in consciousness and understanding which affords me the opportunity to live a new paradigm. I posted the ‘stressed out’ post anyway, as I realise a lot of people live in this state of ‘overwhelm’ and it provides an interesting platform from which to proceed to this post.

One of the things I realised recently is that as spiritual beings living a human experience, the emotions we experience as humans, all of them, are not ours, they are humanitys, and we have elected to experience them. Each one of us, experiences the full range of human emotions which we mistake as our own, selecting and holding on to the most intense, thereby creating our life stories from a very limited palette. We are not our emotions and can let them go, by tuning into and electing to release each emotion in the moment. (See Hale Dwoskins Sedona Method for an effective releasing technique). The story of our life, is not our Life either, but an illusion we have created and continue to create as we filter experiences based on our incomplete palette of distorted memories, causing us thereby, to misrepresent ourselves to ourselves over and over. This of course, also causes us to regard others through our fantasies of them, rather than through perceiving a true impression of the other person, who in turn, is acting out a fantasy of themselves through their own misrepresentations ….As Deepak Chopra has said “We sacrifice Self to Self Image.”

As we are energy and light, and vibrate within the energy spectrum of the human race, in which web of tensile vibrations separation is but an illusion, we tune into others emotions as well as our ‘own’.* Now, I’ve realised all of the above at various levels over the years – that our external reality is a projection of our internal world I learned through photography and psychotherapy and through studying to be a coach. Through studying energy healing and shamanism I learned of multidimensional existence and the fact that WE ARE ONE in Reality. For years I’ve been trying to understand the spiritual teaching that the whole universe is inside me, and this understanding is also deepening with me. I’m fortunate to have wonderful experiences of being in the present, ranging across a wide spectrum - from the deeply profound experience of the bliss of total Divine Love, to appreciating the beauty of a tree shaking off a shower of golden leaves instantly bringing me fully into the present moment. Being present to ones Presence is full of grace and deeply powerful.

Learning recently of, and beginning to practice Ho’oponopono has taken my understanding to a new state of peaceful empowerment and letting go.

The following brief explanation of Ho’oponopono is from an article by Joe Vitale:

“Two years ago, I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who cured a complete ward of criminally insane patients – without ever seeing any of them. The psychologist would study an inmate’s chart and then look within himself to see how he created that person’s illness. As he improved himself, the patient improved.” The author Joe Vitale, then met with the therapist Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len to ask how he had achieved such results (all of the violent, criminally insane patients were cured, released, and the ward closed!). “This is where I had to ask the million dollar question: What were you doing within yourself that caused these people to change?”

“I was simply healing the part of me that created them,” he said. I didn’t understand. Dr. Len explained that total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life – simply because it is in your life – is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your creation.”

“Whew. This is tough to swallow. Being responsible for what I say or do is one thing. Being responsible for what everyone in my life says or does is quite another. Yet, the truth is this: if you take complete responsibility for your life, then everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way experience is your responsibility because it is in your life. This means that terrorist activity, the president, the economy or anything you experience and don’t like – is up for you to heal. They don’t exist, in a manner of speaking, except as projections from inside you. The problem isn’t with them, it’s with you, and to change them, you have to change you.

“I know this is tough to grasp, let alone accept or actually live. Blame is far easier than total responsibility, but as I spoke with Dr. Len, I began to realise that healing for him and in Ho’oponopono means loving yourself.

“If you want to improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want to cure anyone, even a mentally ill criminal you do it by healing you.

“I asked Dr. Len how he went about healing himself. What was he doing, exactly, when he looked at those patients’ files?

“I just kept saying, ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I love you’ over and over again’ he explained.

“That’s it?

“That’s it.

“Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, you improve your world.” […] “Suffice it to say that whenever you want to improve anything in your life, there’s only one place to look: inside you. When you look, do it with love.”*

Regarding oneself with love and compassion, and forgiving ourselves for all the attacks we have made on ourselves and our inner child will heal not only us but the people in our lives in whom we see our pain reflected. This leads to a heightened sense of compassion not only for ourselves, but for everyone we encounter, as we understand that we share their pain, their hopes their joy and their fears.

This teaching, which I don’t fully understand logically, but intuitively understand completely, has allowed me to relax and trust and become softer in my approach to myself and others.

I also realise that all I want to achieve will come to me. I don’t need to strive ‘out there.’ All I need to do is treat myself with self love and compassion through Ho’oponopono, practice Chi Kung, Tai Chi, and meditate, gently creating my intentions and allowing opportunities to manifest. As everything already resides inside me, it’s that simple.


* (Turns out someone I work closely with had been having panic attacks for the duration of the time I was stressed out, so I did some work for him using the Hawaiian technique of Ho’oponopono which seems to have worked. I didn’t mention anything to him but the day after I started work for him he came in free of an attack and yesterday reported they seem to have completely left him. Great!)

* For a fuller version of this article see http://hooponopono.org



TO BE AND NOT TO DO, THAT IS THE QUESTION?

This is a dilemma I face. I want to save the world, I wanna do interesting stuff, but I put myself under so much pressure, between what I have to do and what I want to do, that I end up riding an emotional rollercoaster re all of it, thereby becoming less effective. I find myself facing resistance re being in the moment with whatever I am doing, and with taking time out to simply be. Even meditation, that holy practice of Being as ones divine self, becomes another something to be factored in.

Thinking outside of the moment, rather than being in the moment causes confusion – there doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day to pursue everything, and I don’t want to give up on my plans for anything, because that would, to me, mean giving up on my dreams and stagnating. Of course, I can plan to time-manage, but everything takes up so much time, and needs so much time, that this, in itself, becomes difficult.

Unless I am actively: putting in the preparation for classes, at work teaching, doing admin etc., preparing workshops/coaching sessions, or coaching clients, doing the housework/gardening, spending time with my daughters and catering to their needs (which usually seem to involve financial outlay!), I feel guilty.

Being on the internet, or on Twitter or watching TV feel like indulgences I have to justify to myself, even though these practices are necessary on so many levels and stimulating to my work.

I also feel less than when I don’t practice Tai Chi and meditate, or work on the book I haven’t worked on for ages yet know I need to complete because it’s important to me to create and will hopefully be of benefit to others.

For instance, my plans for today were to: make sure I practice Chi Kung and Tai Chi, write a new blog, formulate the three questions I’ve been invited to ask Steven Pressfield (these are coming to me), make a Still Life photograph as a wedding present for my niece and work on my classes for next week. Housework, children and gardening don’t even feature, neither does writing my book – oh, and making arrangements to see friends doesn’t figure here either. I have to try to squash all this into today, because I’m busy for the next 6 days. (It’s late now as I re-read this and I haven’t managed half of those).

Thrown into this mix, is the emotional flotsam and jetsam. One day, my most desired longterm plan, appears to be eminently achievable. Sure I can do that, I think with clarity and feel with calmness. Yep, I visualize, that’s me, right there, doing that – no problem. The next day, I may think I’m crazy and the “Who the hell do you think you are?” thoughts weigh in, and I believe them. All the arguments against me being the one to undertake such a project line themselves up, presenting their arguments rapidly and effectively.

This ping ponging is not good for my self confidence and makes me cranky.

Although I’m lucky enough to have a job which interests me, I feel frustrated when there’s so much else I want to do. This transition stage where I’ve got to juggle EVERYTHING in order to move from where I am to where I want to be (doing other, more important things - saving of world etc. activities to which I want devote my time and energy) takes a lot of effort and energy.

To quote Gloria Steinem inexactly:

'most recently feminism is not about being able to ‘have it all’ but rather, not having to ‘do it all.’

One of the questions which popped into my mind as I read The War of Art, Steven Pressfields great book on the topic of RESISTANCE (the condition warrants capital letters) was whether Mr. Pressfield would have been able to devote himself to successfully devoting himself to his writing above all else if he had been raising children as well. To quote Cyril Connolly in “Enemies of Promise”, “There is no more sombre enemy of good art than the pram in the hall.”

For myself, I could endure certain periods of near starvation if necessary to achieve my aims (done it before!), but, once there are children in the mix, their comfort has to come first and that means a stable financial income. As teenagers, they won’t actually realise they (have always been) are comfortable now until they’re raising children themselves; being teenagers they tend to feel hard done by, mostly!

Underlying all this though, there is a steel cable, quietly zinging as it vibrates, reminding me of my core strength and the resolve which has helped me to survive enormous challenges throughout my life. So, despite Ego led cavalcades of Self Doubt I will succeed, however, because I’ll be too damn annoyed with myself if I don’t. Having thought about, and worked for so many years building the foundations for my vision, with ancient stone and modern technique, I will not fail. I’ll find a way and the universe will have no choice but to help me.

This, however true, comes from my ’need to achieve’ attitude and, while my desires come from a spiritual intention of service (as well as a self serving need to live an interesting and meangful life), my guides (through shamanic journeying) answer me, when I ask for guidance re work and purpose that ‘I’m here to be and not to do’, that “I’m not here to achieve, but to allow” and that Life is for experience and enjoyment, and not for work, pressure and production. So, Mr. Pressfield, what can they mean? Are there Muses above muses, in a hierarchy in which those more wise in the ways of Reality warn of loss? Of losing ourselves to functionality, however creative and well intentioned; of sacrificing our birthright of Being? This begs the question: how can we balance our need to create and produce, to ‘move to a higher sphere’, without forfeiting the sacred gift of being and allowing? Do we somehow have it all wrong and are we becoming merely functionaries to the expectations of modern cultural mores, buying into the illusion but ultimately risking the exchange of one treadmill for another?

While the answer is to be in the present moment at all times, that, my friend, is a state of being I haven’t yet got the handle of….

A few days later….have already ‘received’ answer from the universe and am living a new paradigm – read same in next blog I post….

Tuesday, September 8, 2009





RESISTING RESISTANCE!

Oh my poor head!  It’s been a whole week – 8 days in fact – since I got the flu and I’m still not well.  Tomorrow, I return to my day job, as opposed to my entrepreneurial venture (neither of which I’ve been able to tend to), and still don’t really feel up to the challenge of meeting and greeting lots of First Year students embarking on their new career.  I also missed last weekends Tai Chi workshop, the first of my second year on the teacher training course, which is so good for me and which I was looking forward to.

 

Tai Chi, of course, is about energy management, or mastery – packing our bodies full of energy for physical protection and nourishment, and raising our energy levels for emotional peace and spiritual attainment.  This is so beneficial, clearing trauma from our bodies and psyches, and removing the blocks which hamper the expression of our unique creativity and purpose.

 

The week before I ‘came down with flu’ I felt so good practising Tai Chi and Chi Kung with friends.  We spoke of how great the energy was and how we were feeling.  I remarked that we needed to remember these moments of peace, wellness and fulfillment in those other moments, the ones that don’t feel so good, when we feel down and flattened and self doubt goes on the attack.  I had good reason to remember those moments in the past week, when I felt too unwell to do anything and the familiar ‘baddies’ whispered “shoulds” to me, and, “you always”,”you never”, “you’ll never”, “this is typical of you” etc., When clarity left and confusion tried to take over once more.  While I did a fair amount of beating myself up, I also reminded myself of my achievements, and that this low level condition would pass, my energy would rise again and soon I’d re-enter the opposite state of feeling good, capable, and would optimistically move forward once more. 

 

Everyone experiences change, both externally and internally.  Cycles are a natural phenomena (just look at our global economic boom and bust pattern if you need to see proof), the main thing is to keep focused on what we want and keep chipping away on moving towards what is best for us, knowing we will encounter setbacks along the way.  When, during an energy slump during the week, the voice of my internal saboteur asked accusingly “What have you done with the past decade of your life? Huh!” I found myself, after a moment of succumbing to the negative aspects of the accusation, compiling a healthy list of rich experiences, obstacles overcome and a determined campaign towards creating the life I want to live.

 

ü Helping my husband through cancer.

ü Getting out of bed and going to work everyday after my husband, my best friend, and another very close friend died within months of one another.

ü Discovering that death is merely another transition and deepening my awareness of the Divine.

ü Learning for sure, that we are all supported at all times.

ü Raising two children single handedly.

ü Making a success of the Full Time Photographic Studies course I founded.

ü Helping to transform the lives of others both through the course and my life coaching work.

ü Studying Shamanism, energy healing, EFT, Chi Kung and Tai Chi

ü Achieving First Class honours on a post graduate course in Integrative Psychotherapy studies at UCC followed by a Diploma in Life Coaching.

ü Buying our family home, selling it and buying a better one near a town where I didn’t know anyone.

ü Making several trips abroad alone with the children, including two weeks in Jordan.

ü Attending numerous workshops on various topics, all with a view to running transformational workshops in Ireland and abroad.  My dream is to run a transformational centre in Europe, possibly in France, where people seeking the skills to change their lives will pay to mix holidays with learning and self exploration.  This in turn will fund people with cancer and their families, or the surviving members of a family affected with cancer to come along for a free, or subsidised holiday, to mix with others in a supportive and fun environment, in order to recover from their trauma and realise that good things can also happen to them.

ü Meeting great people who are bravely committed to discovering and expressing the most authentic aspects of themselves.

 

Looked at in this light, I’ve achieved a lot over the past decade.  My children have another three years at school and I’m now paving the way for the next phase of the plan – the transformational centre abroad.  This doesn’t mean I’m immune to those voices which beset us all – I have learned though, to hear them and counter their attack, reminding myself that they don’t speak the truth – that I am the one who decides what is true and possible, and that I have the support of Divine Intelligence and Love on my side.  The more I accept that, the more I allow it to help me overcome the dreaded voices of Resistance – in the immortal words of Steven Pressfield:

“RESISTANCE ONLY OPPOSES IN ONE DIRECTION

Resistance obstructs movement only from a lower sphere to a higher.  It kicks in when we seek to pursue a calling in the arts, launch an innovative enterprise, or evolve to a higher station morally, ethically, or spiritually.

  So if you’re in Calcutta working with the Mother Theresa Foundation and you’re thinking of bolting to launch a career in telemarketing…relax.  Resistance will give you a free pass.”

 

“The first duty is to sacrifice to the gods and pray them to grant you the thoughts, words, and deeds likely to render your command most pleasing to the gods and to bring yourself, your friends, and your city the fullest measure of affection and glory and advantage.

-       Xenophon, The Cavalry Commander’

 

Both above excerpts from The War of Art by Steven Pressfield.

 

Jason Chan, an inspiring spiritual teacher with whom I have the privilege of studying, also counsels on the hazards of the path of Enlightenment; the higher our spiritual aspirations, the more our Ego will seek to deter and detract us from our task.  In his experience, the path of commitment to a higher level of spirituality is a revolution rather than an evolution.  It must be consciously undertaken and requires great courage.  His book The Radiant Warrior is an informative and inspiring guide which offers great support to those seeking liberation.

So, everyone experiences Resistance; whether we want to tone our abs or save the world, as sure as the gravitational pull of the Earth keeps us from floating into space, we will hear those voices attempting to drag us down to prevent us from progressing with our goals.  Our best defence is to be on the lookout for these destructive marauders and, once we become aware of them, to relegate them to their proper function of protecting us from stepping out in front of oncoming traffic or over the edge of real, live, as opposed to imaginary, cliffs!